The All Knowing Fortune Cookie
by FairyFreak38
Summary: Gajeel and Levy are on their fourth-first date, and with Fairy Tail no where to be seen, looks like they might actually be able to make it to the end! Until Gajeel puts the date on pause to get some fortune cookies. Rated T for swearing.


**HEY GUYS!~ Okay~! I'mm'a just come out and say it! I'm writing my first one shot! WOO. *Waits for applause* Thank you, I knew you'd be pleased! ^^ We all know I'm joking, right? Ha ha... Hilarious...**

**So, I hope you guys enjoy! This is mostly humour, but there's slight romance, I repeat,_ SLIGHT,_ between Gajeel and Levy. Maybe less than slight?**

* * *

"Wow, I can't believe that it's our first date!" The bookworm smiled brightly. "Seriously? This is probably our fourth date." Gajeel let out a tired huff, but straightened up, seeing Levy frown.

"Well, it's out fourth-first date!" Levy grinned, lifting her wine glass. Gajeel doing the same, till they heard a _clink._

After their first attempt, a picnic, which was ruined by Natsu and the gang budding in. Their second attempt, going to the beach, that was ruined by a storm caused by an upset Juvia, and their third attempt, a date in Crocus, was ruined when Master Makarov thought it'd be the more parent-like thing to follow the couple around to make sure Gajeel was being a gentleman.

The two Fairy Tail mages agreed that it'd be best to have a date where Fairy Tail wouldn't be able to interfere. A luxurious, reservations only, restaurant!

_So far, so good. No one from Fairy Tail seems to be here..._

The blunette sighed in relief. What she didn't know was, maybe it wasn't going to be Fairy Tail that was gonna ruin their 'first' date.

"Oh, Gajeel! Fortune cookies!" The petite mage cheered. "Fortune cookies? Tch, those things just give out crappy advice, that people believe in, then get disappointed in when it doesn't come true. I'm not opening that shit."

The iron dragon slayer waved his girlfriend off when she tried to get him to open a cookie.

"Fine, then I'm opening it for you!" The bookworm groaned, even though she was happy to open it for him. "Nah, nah. You open it, it's your fortune. You know, just in case it comes out as a curse or something." _Ah, Gajeel, always the gentleman._

The petite girl cracked the gold biscuit, and slipped the paper out gently, not wanting to bend or rip the fortune.

"What it say?" Gajeel murmured. "You're quite the smart one, don't let insults stop you from being the bookworm you are." She read happily. _How accurate! _"Bullshit." _HEY! _"What do you mean bull- The 'S' word..." Levy asked, pausing at the last part to keep up her good girl rep.

"That's stupid, it could mean the same thing for anyone." He scrunched up his nose, having too much pride to admit that the cookie was pretty spot on.

"Fine, you crack open one." The blunette pouted, throwing him a fortune cookie.

"Fine, I will." The piercing covered man mocked. "Revealing your true self can be hard, especially if you're always masking it with a piercing-clad, badass, punk reputation. Lend your secrets to a safe ear." Gajeel snickered.

"Wow, they seriously fit all that on a fortune cookie? And, that's oddly specific." Levy gaped, ripping the small paper out of Gajeel's hand. With the girl distracted with his fortune, he cracked open another biscuit, somewhat intrigued about knowing what was inside.

_You know your hair's too long when it's longer than your girlfriend's. Get a haircut._

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" The mage yelled, causing an abrupt silence in the restaurant. All eyes were on them, and Levy shifted awkwardly away from the interrogating orbs.

"First of all, language! And second of all, what happened, Gajeel?" The blunette sighed, still averting her eyes away from the still staring ones.

"This damned fortune, I dunno whether to laugh-"

"Or to drop the 'f' word again?" Levy smirked, quickly reading the paper. "Weren't you the one who said, that these fortunes were just bad advice, that are totally fake?" She asked.

He sent her a defeated look, and rolled his eyes. Picking up another fortune cookie and cracking it's shell.

_You're a little too harsh, maybe you should try yoga._

"That's it, this fortune just confirmed itself as shit." Gajeel growled, squishing the paper into a ball, and throwing it on the glass table. "Piece of..." The rest were quiet mutters, and curses.

"You're a little too harsh, maybe you should try yoga..." Levy repeated, a vein popping out of her date's forehead. "That's it, this date is on hold. I'mm'a go get some more fortune cookies."

The iron dragon slayer stomped out of their booth, making Levy smile curiously, before realization struck.

"Wait... G-Gajeel!? D-does this mean I have to pay the bill?!" The solid script mage doubted that he heard her question, but much to her surprise, he did. Unfortunately, Gajeel just gave the wrong answer... "YES."

* * *

"How much for fortune cookies?" Gajeel asked, banging on the restaurant counter. "They come with the meal." The waiter replied, giving Gajeel a hasty look. "I had my meal, so gimme more." He demanded.

"Then buy more food." _This guy's pissing me off. Plan B._

Grabbing hold of the young man's collar, Gajeel pulled him over the desk, eyeing the male carefully. "I'm a charity, and you're gonna give. Either donate some of your fucking cookies, or your LIFE."

_"You're a little too harsh, maybe you should try yoga."_ The words echoed through his head, and it rattled his brain.

Gajeel let go of the waiter's collar, and cleared his throat. "Please." The piercing-clad man flushed at the word.

* * *

_You're a strong guy, put that power to use by doing daily good deeds._

"Psh, I keep myself from beating up Salamander senseless whenever I get near him, isn't that 'good deed' enough?" Gajeel chuckled, throwing the paper away, and pulling out the next one.

"Watch where you're going." He read. _Stupid... _

The dragon slayer snorted, rolling his eyes, and throwing the paper away before walking head first into a tree. "AGH! FUCK!" He screamed, punching the tree which caused a loud _THUMP _noise.

"DAMNED TREE. Watch where you're going!" The mage snarled, kicking it one last time. _Idiot, trees can't move. _Gajeel reminded himself. "Huh, stupid cookie was right..."

The ebony haired male found himself opening another fortune cookie, was he getting addicted to these fortunes?

"Oops, wrong cookie... WHAT?" He read it a few times before figuring out that the fortune cookie actually said 'Oops... Wrong cookie.'. _These screwed up fortune cookies, God._

"Next time, order the shrimp." ... _Next._

"You will soon achieve perfection. Tch, already have." Gajeel let out his signature 'Gi hi', and cracked open the next cookie he had on him. "Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles... You..." _Moving on?_

"Are you hiding a dark secret about secretly loving romance novels? Time to tell the world." ... W-w_hat the hell? How did they know!? You read the whole Twilight series and suddenly you're branded 'Romance Lover'?_

"Coincidence." Gajeel laughed awkwardly, crumpling the small paper, and stuffing it into his pocket.

"Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life." Gajeel read, slipping out the paper without even cracking the biscuit. "Holy shit... These fortune cookies are all knowing!"

* * *

**Whatever you say Gajeel... Anyways, I know this ff's kinda stupid, but I'm writing it all for the fun of it. Sure, I know, not my best work, but hey! There _are_ fortune cookies, what more could you want? **

**XOXO ~ Fairyfreaksensei **

**Please Review!~**


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